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Ode to Paris

Paris on my mind… thinking about Paris… loving Paris… because…

It’s the City of Light, it’s the city of artists and writers, it has the most amazing history, it’s the birthplace of so many powerful and amazing ideas, works of art, books, philosophies, music, cinema. It’s a hotbed of creativity. It has the most amazing architecture, the most amazing boulevards, the most amazing buildings, the most amazing bridges, the most amazing neighborhoods. It has the most amazing hidden alleyways and neighborhoods and cafés and people – everywhere, yes everywhere. Paris also has the most amazing people, the most amazing women and men. The people of Paris are just amazing and Paris has the most amazing writers and philosophers. Just think about it, the list is so long and illustrious and wonderful that it takes my breath away. And yes, it’s just amazing! Amazing! Just think about Paris and its history and it boggles the mind. Because Paris quite simply has the most amazing people. And then there’s the language – French – which is the most amazing of languages – so beautiful and melodious and lovely to speak and listen to. And so many wonderful, beautiful people have spoke that lovely language throughout the ages and are still speaking it today. Oh French… yes, the language itself is so beautiful, poetic, melodious, lovely. BEAUTIFUL. So yes, everything about Paris is beautiful and lovely and wonderful and amazing and magical. And this is only a beginning, only the slightest sketch, the slightest mentioning, only the slightest glance at this immortal city – this City of Light… with its amazing energy and its amazing bridges and walkways and sidewalks and cafes and restaurants and bars and brothels and nightclubs and discotheques and theaters and museums and bookstores and bookstalls along the Seine and shops and boutiques and hotels and palaces and impressive buildings and open spaces…. and then there are those wondrous night lights, that dance of light and the fairies and goddesses and gods, all here, all dancing, all loving and blessing each and every one of us and the whole world with the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, the Place de la Concorde, Les Champs Elysees, the River Seine, the bridges, La Rive Gauche (the Left Bank), Notre Dame, Arc de Triomphe, Sacré-Cœur, Panthéon, the Sorbonne, the Latin Quarter, Montparnasse, Boulevard Saint-Germain, Boulevard Saint-Michel… and oh yes, there’s so much more… so, so much more…. and did I say… I love Paris….


It was as if there was this great sorrow in each of them, a sorrow that was unrequited love, a sorrow that was a song without words, a song without beginning or end. And it was a love so deep and vast and wide that neither of them could comprehend it. And yet it was there, underneath it all, binding them together and blinding them in its Light. So even if they walked and talked and laughed and loved, the Light of this Love flowed through each of them like a mighty river, like a mighty, powerful current which was animating all of Life, including them.

And sometimes they touched upon it in their innocent unknowingness and when this happened, the vast aching and longing was stilled for a moment, stilled and satisfied and surrendered. Because they had unwittingly come home, back to the beginning, back to the beginning of each of us, which was the end of each of us, which was the start and the finish and the stars and the sun and the moon and the wind…

“Rachel,” he said and it touched her heart.

“Yes,” she replied softly.

“I love you.”

“I know,” she said and was as quiet as a soft wind on some far distance ocean that no one ever saw or heard.

And when he heard her words, he smiled and his soul was at peace, as it went dancing through the universe, happy and free at last.


The melody that played in his heart was the same as the melody that played in hers. Though he did not know it, nor did she. But connected they were, beyond time and space, as truly we all are.

It is a wonder how we can go on for as long as we do in our utter ignorance of who we really are, with that sorrow that is unrequited love, tearing at our heartstrings and eating our souls with its never-ending longing.

Oh song of songs!

How we are longing!

Longing for that sacred touch which is our very own, for that homecoming which is beyond any earthly home we’ve ever known, for that surrendering which is beyond any surrender we’ve ever experienced… a surrendering beyond comprehension, where everything falls into place… into that blessed, sacred space, beyond time and remembrance… that we call love…



About Rachel & Albert from the Good Pussy Bad Pussy books.

Surrendering to the Light


Headlong, headstrong… falling into that blissful state of surrender…

Originally posted on Good Pussy Bad Pussy:

By some wild, crazy, roundabout path, Albert guided Rachel to a place where nothing except total surrender was possible.

She was no longer Rachel Somers with an identity worth protecting or preserving. He had robbed her as thoroughly as any man could of whatever it was she was.

He had stripped her bare. Left her with nothing she could identify with, and in that strange, naked state of being no woman she knew, she found herself connected to a sexuality so powerful that it jolted her beyond everyday reality to some awesome cosmic plane she did not recognize.

“This is not me,” she thought. “This is not anyone.”

That was when he plunged headlong, headstrong, into her, finding in her an intensity she did not know she possessed.

She spread her legs wide, baring her soul, allowing him entry everywhere – allowing him anything, everything. And when he raised himself…

View original 309 more words

Here’s the longer, original version of my popular blog about the delightful experience we call “orgasm” and losing our f*cking minds…


So you’re worried about the rent, you’re worried about your boyfriend, you’re worried about your weight, your age, your health, your career, your future, your parents, your children… the state of the nation, the terrorists, the economy… damn it… you’re worried. Yes you are. And the mind is going on and on and on… it’s like a war zone in there – in your head – and you can’t stop it. Never, ever, ever. And sometimes it’s just too much. Sometimes… well lots of the time, it’s driving you crazy… CRAZY.

Oh how I wish, wish I could turn it off. At least for a little while so I could find some peace. And of course that’s when we turn to drink or drugs or we turn on the television or we go online or exercise or go shopping or eat too much. We’re trying to turn it off, turn off the mind. Yes, turn it off… we’re screaming inside. Do something else. Because… can’t I just have a little peace… why can’t I just relax? Why can’t I just feel okay? What’s going on in me? Why can’t I stop this incessant chatter, the incessant barrage, the never-ending, always active Monkey Mind?

And then, well okay, there is sleep. Yes blessed sleep… at least for some of us, at least for many of us, we get a break, we get a chance to turn off the mind when we sleep… the mind, that incessantly active Monkey Mind… oh blessed sleep…

So what’s with the mind, what’s with this Monkey Mind? Well it’s like this. There’s this world out there with all its people and things and situations and then we have our “thoughts” about all these people, things and situations. In other words, we have our ideas about whatever is going on “out there”. And well, it’s our thoughts about what’s going on out there that determine how we experience life. In other words, thing happens and then we have our thoughts about what is going on. And it’s not so much the people and the things that are happening that determine our experience, but rather it’s our thoughts about the people and the things that are happening which determine our experience. Get the difference? It might seem subtle at first but it’s so important to see and understand the difference if it’s freedom you’re looking for.

Anyway… so it goes like this. If you think something is good, well then you feel pretty happy about the people or the situation and if you think something is not so good, well then you feel less happy about the people or the situation or maybe even sad or angry. And well that’s about it! That’s the story of your life and of mine – or the short version of how we come to experience life the way we do.

So what happens for most of us is… then… we have all these interpretations, all these stories about how things “should” be. About how our life should be different and about how our boyfriend should be different and how our careers should be different and how our boss should be different and our weight should be different and our appearance should be different and that’s why it’s as I say, a war zone in your mind… a constant war zone… which can be and often is… very stressful.

And that’s the double truth Ruth – we get to live, breathe and feel however we interpret the various people and situations in our lives.

And then there’s this thing we call sex. And sometimes, maybe oftentimes, there’s this wonderful, magical, fantastic moment when we reach orgasm. Aaaahhh yes… ORGASM! Aaahhh YES ORGASM! When suddenly… at least for a moment or two, we surrender everything! EVERYTHING! And I mean EVERYTHING… we surrender every thought, every word, every concept we have and the mind goes absolutely, positively blank! Yes completely blank! And we’re flying high and we no longer care about the career or the rent or our boss or our weight or even about our boyfriend (even if he’s the one inside you) and we’re just gone – in heaven! Because finally – FINALLY – we’ve lost our f*cking minds! Yes in the moment of orgasm – we literally lose our f*cking minds! And it feels fabulous! Fabulous! Because finally we’ve stopped the chatter and are totally present in this amazing NOW moment.

So… no wonder we’re hooked on sex – all of us… no wonder…

Because what happens when we’re present in this amazing NOW moment? Well we catch a glimpse of our True Nature which is this timeless, carefree, All-Present, All-Powerful Bliss Consciousness… which is beyond language and beyond thought and beyond everything we can conceptualize which is why… would you like to F*CK????


Even if it started with the sexual, with that amazing jolt of desire, it quickly became apparent that there was more. Much more. That this blazing attraction was merely the doorway, a portal, to some deeper, higher realm that was awaiting them, silently, eagerly, passionately.

When Albert followed Rachel to New York, she didn’t know it yet, but he did. She didn’t know that what was taking place in her was already his. So mysterious was it. But he knew it and he rejoiced, understanding her uncertainty but knowing – because his master Sensei Okumara had told him so – how the chips would fall.

What he didn’t know or see coming was Howard. That there was a maniac on the loose who had touched and molested his beloved and who was gravely threatening the mysterious blessing that was unfolding for them both. So he wasn’t prepared for the attack, didn’t see it coming, was taken by surprise, off guard… but it happened anyway and endangered the life of his precious, still to be discovered, eternal love…

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That night as I was lying in my bed… I got to thinking about her again… about good pussy bad pussy… I got to thinking…

   What was she all about? Where had she led me and where was she leading me now?

   And what about all the trouble she’d gotten me into before? And what about the innocence of her – the not knowing, the not knowing her power, the not knowing her seductiveness…

   What was she all about?

   And what now?

   Where was she leading me?

   What was going on?

   Why the passion, the longing, the yearning? Why? Why?

   I knew I was beautiful, sensual, and voluptuous…I knew she was beautiful, sensual, voluptuous…

   I knew.

   I knew she was impossible to resist… I knew I was impossible to resist…

   I knew and even liked it. The energy of it, the power of good pussy bad pussy… the wild innocence of her… the magic of her…

   What was this power she had, I had?

   Where did it come from?

   What did it mean?

   Why? Why?

   Where was she going?

   Why was I the center of this force field?

   Why did men love her so, love me so?

   Why did they crave her, crave me, desire her, desire me, lust after her, lust after me so…?

   Why? Why? Why?


Later that night, I was awakened by the sound of someone knocking softly on my door. I looked at the clock next to my bed. It was two in the morning. I got out of bed and tiptoed over to the door and said, “Who is it?” even though I knew who it was.

“Anton,” said the husky voice on the other side of the door.

At first I wasn’t sure what to do, though I wasn’t surprised. Then I took a deep breath and opened the door. He rushed in and closed the door firmly behind him. Then he took me in his arms and began kissing me passionately.

“Oh, Rachel,” he said as he smothered me with kisses; he was a man on fire.

His passion made me tremble as he slowly kissed my neck and then found his way to my shoulder. When he got there, he gently pushed my big nightshirt back from my shoulder.

I just stood there and let him, wondering, waiting to see if he would continue or turn and run again.

But this time, he didn’t run and I felt the white hot heat he radiated.

He was burning with desire, burning with desire for me, and it was all coming out in one heady rush. And I had to admit, it was lovely, lovely to feel the heat he radiated, lovely to feel the passion that was consuming him. Hmmm… It, he, lit my fire. Hmmm… Because I was dry and shutdown like him, dry and yearning like him. In fact, we were both like a dry, scorched landscape that was yearning, yearning for rain, dry and yearning for warmth and love… I felt myself softening in his arms, almost swooning in the rush of it.

My breath quickened and I felt the heat rising in me too.

Then I felt my little pussy suddenly coming alive! There she was; the inner pulsing of her! Suddenly she was awake and alive and dancing her lusty little dance!


Excerpt from “Good Pussy Bad Pussy in Captivity”


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